is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Randomize
