Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Randomize