This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Randomize
