that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
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