What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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