So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Randomize
