her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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