i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
