Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
