please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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