im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Randomize
