Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
