I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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