cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
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