No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize