Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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