then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
