This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
