so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
