OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
