she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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