She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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