Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
