Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
