he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
