420 ftw
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
