When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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