real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
