didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
