she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
