D3 body, D1 cock
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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