We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
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