Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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