She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
