His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
