I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
