I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
