Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
