I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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