I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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