Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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