what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
the day after is always just damage control
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
