i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
this is an emotional support booty call
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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