and you said cock pushups were impossible
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Randomize
