Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Semen is not good for contacts.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
