do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
