is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Randomize
