I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
