Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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