any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
