I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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