I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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