I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
