is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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