Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I can't turn off my feet"
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
