so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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