Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(940): View more from Texas

I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.

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(815): View more from Illinois

should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?

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(360): View more from Washington

I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes

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(317): View more from Indiana

you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...

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(702): View more from Nevada

Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.

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(845): View more from New York

He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.

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(313): View more from Michigan

Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill

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(630): View more from Illinois

tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE

(708): View more from Illinois

to be fair she does have a great rack

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(618): View more from Illinois

i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.

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