Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
