Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
