he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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