i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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